Gloriously ordinary

I have just come home from Colour Conference London and I am on a high! I’m high on God.

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It has been a few amazing days and I have just loved all of it! This was my first Colour Conference and it certainly won’t be my last. I have never really listened to Bobbie Houston before, mainly because I haven’t been to a Hillsong Church before. I only knew about their music but she is a godly woman and she is soo funny!

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There was a church connected to the Hillsong Family where I lived before but I only visited a few times and never felt at home there. So moving to the UK, joining a Hillsong church had never been part of my plan. The US was where I thought I would end up if I ever moved to an English-speaking country and then I would have thought Atlanta and the North point ministry or perhaps Chicago and then one of the gospel churches. But as we all know, God works in mysterious ways and I ended up here in the UK.

This weekend at Colour I know God worked in me. He shone light on things I needed to see, He lifted my spirit and He put my compass straight again. But I also had some epiphanies.

They were showing some personal stories from women from all over the world. Beautiful stories about how God had come into their life and restored, made new and just saved them. What they did have in common was they had all been though a hardship. Different things but all hardships. Then and there, I realised that I should be so grateful! Grateful that I have not had these hardships in my life.

I have parents who love me and were supportive throughout my childhood. When I wanted to go to a youth meeting in a church about 1 hour drive from home (in the south of Sweden that is quite far away) they picked me up at 11.30 pm as there were no trains or buses going home. I have asked them now as an adult why they did that as I know so many friends never had that. Yes, I wanted to go to a church and I guess they were happy I wasn’t secretly out drinking with friends. The answer I got was, “You demanded it”. Stubborn child hey, guess I know what will await me if I ever get kids…:D

In my early school years I had a teacher who was a racist. I did not have it easy the first 3 years in school with her but I can only be grateful for that time as it has made me want to be an open and welcome person. I don’t ever want people to feel left out, because I have had those feelings and they are not fun to have. Still, this is nothing compared to what others have had to gone through in their childhood. I have had it easy!

This is not a pitty post. This is just something I had on my mind this weekend. I am ordinary, but not just ordinary. I am gloriously ordinary as I am a child of God. As they said this weekend; I am royal, a daughter of the King most high, King over heaven and earth. It is my inheritance to be supernatural but I can be supernatural at the same time as I am ordinary.

I am so happy I have found this church! I had peace about moving to the UK and this is how God speaks to me. I know it is His will when I have peace with a decision. God wants me here right now and I intend to listen. Only He knows for how long but I look forward to the next 6 months, especially if they will be like the last 6! Who knows, it might end up being 6 years. God knows.

Last but definitely not the least: Thank you to all the men who were serving and making this year’s Colour possible.

 

When it doesn’t go my way I know that it is not the end
I’m trusting You have better plans I haven’t even dreamt of yet
I know that You are for me when everything’s against me
I put all my hope in You
Jesus, I will trust You, I will trust You
I know You never fail, I will trust You 
Jesus, I will
Jesus, I will
I don’t know how the story ends but I know that You finished itI’ll close my eyes and just let go and fall into my only hope
There’s safety in the falling when I surrender fully
I put all my hope in You

Jesus, I will trust You, I will trust You
I know You never fail, I will trust You 
Jesus, I will, I will
Jesus, I will, I will

The only thing I know is, God, You’re in control 
in every little detail You are close
I’ll never be alone here in the unknown
The power of Your presence fills my soul

Now everything I know is, God, You’re in control 
in every little detail You are close
I’ll never be alone here in the unknown
The power of Your presence fills my soul

Jesus, I will trust You, I will trust You
I know You never fail, I will trust You 
Jesus, I will trust You, I will trust You
I know You never fail, I will trust You 
Jesus, I will, I will
Jesus, I will, I will
Jesus, I will trust You, I will trust You
I know You never fail, I will trust You
Jesus, I will

 
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2016!

Wow!! It’s already a new year…

I can’t imagine what would make this year better than my last. I mean, I moved! To another country! And God is with me! What can be better than that?!

I have some expectations for 2016 that I have told God. I will keep on praying and expecting. Wish I could tell you, but I can’t, not like this, on a blog. If you are curious, ask!

I find it hard to blog about my time here in the UK. Mostly because my work is nothing I want to write about and that makes my weekdays really boring. I go to work, I come home from work, eat something, go online, maybe talk to some friends on Facebook or on phone. It’s really not that different from Sweden except I won’t meet friends in the evening here. And that also makes my weekdays more boring…So, what I can write about are Saturdays and church. I go to worship rehearsals on Wednesdays, I go to connect group/sisterhood on Thursdays and church services on Sundays.

I have met new friends, which is awesome! But that too is not that different from Sweden…I am a social person so nothing new with that either.

Well, one thing that I can tell you is I’m going into London tomorrow for work but it’s too early to justify me staying there and go to a “London on Board” gaming night. And I want to go to rehearsal as well tomorrow as I might have my audition.

Well, here’s to hoping and praying for 2016!

2 months…only 2 months?

Wow, 2 months and it feels like 6 months! So much is happening and I can hardly keep up mentally. Not that I don’t get what is happening to me, I do, but I don’t have time to reflect or think about it. This is also why I haven’t been updating this blog for a while. I’m so busy! Busy with living, which is good.

So I sort of have a nice routine going. Mondays I will try to climb with my colleague, Tuesdays will be a free day, Wednesdays will be worship rehearsals in church(!) and Thursdays either connect group or sisterhood. Fridays and Saturdays I will keep open to meet up with people, and Sundays I will be in church all day. Fridays and Saturdays are still a bit hard, but I manage. I know Sunday will come and that gives me hope.

I had my friends here to visit last weekend and it hit me how much I had changed in my view of life. Things they took for granted I did not, things I took for granted they did not. The change is so fast! I guess I’m a chameleon. I adapt to where I am. It’s both good and bad. Good, I feel at home faster and find my bearing, bad, I let go of things I thought was truth but it’s only “the Swedish truth” if you get what I mean.

I also miss my friends a lot. Some friends I talk to regularly but others become lost to me. The friends I have known for a long time, they will still be there, I know that, but all the new acquaintances I made this year before I moved, all those almost friends that I wanted to turn into real friendship…most of them are lost to me. And some friends are expecting, and I’m missing that too! And my niece, she had a baby in August and I haven’t even met her yet!!!

Wow, this post turned depressing…Well, I’m still thankful I am here, love my church and see God more in my daily life. I’m glad I took this chance and got this experience. My heart is still halfway here, halfway in Sweden and I kinda like it that way.

Oh, I just realized, if I eat all food in the fridge/freezer, I can turn it off while back in Sweden! Save up on energy bill! Yay! Now I just need to make a few dishes with salmon, chicken and minced meat! I’ll sleep on that thought.

 

One foot on each side…

So, I still have one foot left in Sweden. I have so many friends there and I really want to keep constant contact with them so we don’t fall out of habit, but it’s hard. The time difference is annoying! Like tonight, just got home from the watching Spectre with a colleague and just felt like chatting a bit with someone in Sweden. But it’s 11 pm !!! Way to late to start a chat or call! And now when I only have a UK number I guess it’s hard for people just to spontaneously call me. It’s expensive!

I don’t feel alone, but it’s just the difference. Before and now. And I know my friends care for me still, it’s just hard to keep in touch, everyone busy with their own life. And I can’t just call and see if I can pop by. Or if someone wants to come over one evening.

It has its perks as well though. I have time to cook, I have time to clean, I have time to read. But I still miss just calling someone and ask “Hey, what you up to, wanna meet for a fika?”.

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No such thing as chance…

So I have been in the UK for a month now and I should have known better from the start! I should have known that God is faithful and that He never fails. But before I left Sweden, I just prepared myself for a very though winter season. I expected to be alone, in another country, all my friends would be back in Sweden and I would see all their happy-clappy, cozy, hot chocolate status’ and just be miserable in my lonesome. I should have known better.

I couldn’t have been more wrong in my assumptions. And I’m so grateful! One thing that pushed me towards making the move was, in Sweden, I was safe. I knew I had friends, I had a job, I knew what to expect every day and I was safe. Safe in the meaning that I had financial and social security. I wanted to challenge myself and also just give up a bit of control over my own life. Give it to God. And just this one step, this one action has just opened so much in my heart. God has touched my heart and shown how loving, caring and merciful He really is. Today I sit here with a broken heart. Not broken in the sense I’m hurt, but my heart is breaking for God.

“Break my heart for what breaks Yours, everything I am for Your Kingdom’s cause”

10 years ago, I had been living in Gothenburg for a year, I was in a relationship that choked my spirit, I still believed in Jesus but I wasn’t living. My heart was cold.

I could never have imagined that 10 years later, today, I would sit in my apartment in England and attend a Hillsong church! So long I have had the english language close to my heart, I have been longing to sing the songs from Hillsong, Matt Redman, Chris Tomlin and several others in their original state (not as translations) always. I just can’t believe I’m here. And I can see God so clearly throughout my life, how so much has led up to this point. Then I couldn’t see it, now I can. The bigger picture.

Nothing happens by chance!