One foot on each side…

So, I still have one foot left in Sweden. I have so many friends there and I really want to keep constant contact with them so we don’t fall out of habit, but it’s hard. The time difference is annoying! Like tonight, just got home from the watching Spectre with a colleague and just felt like chatting a bit with someone in Sweden. But it’s 11 pm !!! Way to late to start a chat or call! And now when I only have a UK number I guess it’s hard for people just to spontaneously call me. It’s expensive!

I don’t feel alone, but it’s just the difference. Before and now. And I know my friends care for me still, it’s just hard to keep in touch, everyone busy with their own life. And I can’t just call and see if I can pop by. Or if someone wants to come over one evening.

It has its perks as well though. I have time to cook, I have time to clean, I have time to read. But I still miss just calling someone and ask “Hey, what you up to, wanna meet for a fika?”.

calling-my-girlfriend-pink-heart-love

No such thing as chance…

So I have been in the UK for a month now and I should have known better from the start! I should have known that God is faithful and that He never fails. But before I left Sweden, I just prepared myself for a very though winter season. I expected to be alone, in another country, all my friends would be back in Sweden and I would see all their happy-clappy, cozy, hot chocolate status’ and just be miserable in my lonesome. I should have known better.

I couldn’t have been more wrong in my assumptions. And I’m so grateful! One thing that pushed me towards making the move was, in Sweden, I was safe. I knew I had friends, I had a job, I knew what to expect every day and I was safe. Safe in the meaning that I had financial and social security. I wanted to challenge myself and also just give up a bit of control over my own life. Give it to God. And just this one step, this one action has just opened so much in my heart. God has touched my heart and shown how loving, caring and merciful He really is. Today I sit here with a broken heart. Not broken in the sense I’m hurt, but my heart is breaking for God.

“Break my heart for what breaks Yours, everything I am for Your Kingdom’s cause”

10 years ago, I had been living in Gothenburg for a year, I was in a relationship that choked my spirit, I still believed in Jesus but I wasn’t living. My heart was cold.

I could never have imagined that 10 years later, today, I would sit in my apartment in England and attend a Hillsong church! So long I have had the english language close to my heart, I have been longing to sing the songs from Hillsong, Matt Redman, Chris Tomlin and several others in their original state (not as translations) always. I just can’t believe I’m here. And I can see God so clearly throughout my life, how so much has led up to this point. Then I couldn’t see it, now I can. The bigger picture.

Nothing happens by chance!

Internet! And a bit of moaning…

So, since yesterday I got broadband at home! Yay! 🙌 🙌

This means I can Skype with my friends and also that I can stream Netflix etc without worrying about cost!

So I went to Hillsong this Tuesday. They had a team night. Not the best night to be the new person in church but it was good thing I went. I probably have a connect group that I will go to next week and I got to meet some people I can actually say “hello again” to on Sunday. I have made up my mind now, Tonbridge will be my new church in the UK.

Wednesday I went out for dinner with some of the girls from the office. Really nice evening! One of the ladies had a birthday so we celebrated her.

Today is a calm Friday. I came home from work about 5.30 pm and just hung around resting up half an hour before heading to the CoOp, making dinner and enjoying a nice meal.

Ok, enough with the whole “I’m having a blast in the UK”. Here’s some honesty. What on earth was I thinking?! Moving from Gothenburg?! If I would have had a husband at least to move with me I would at least have one person to keep me company. It would have made life so much easier. Then I wouldn’t have to press down the feeling I’m having right now! I’m alone!!! I don’t dare to open that door because I don’t know what’s gonna happen if I do.

But God is not up for making things that easy. He has helped me, lots! Don’t get me wrong, I’m very grateful for that, but I also question my own sanity. But God doesn’t want us to be sane…He just wants us to follow. Have I followed Him by going to the UK? I don’t know!!! But I think I need this, to leave home and the known for a while. To make me trust in Him more than myself.

I am a very positive person, I tend to see the bright side of life and I do now as well, but I’m allowed to moan!!! And now I just feel like moaning!!! And to make things worse, I couldn’t even get a friend to talk to tonight, instead I have to blog about it…You know, because everyone is busy on a Friday night…

Get a grip!!!! I don’t like feeling sorry for myself, it’s not in my nature. I am a doer! I solve problems! If I know I’m going to be alone on a weekend in Sweden I do something about it, I invite people! That’s how I work. But when I don’t have that many people to invite, it makes things hard…

Bah, rant over. Time to do something instead of just thinking/feeling…

Internet is coming…

So, I have ordered internet for my apartment today. Will get the router etc middle of next week. Soon I can enjoy streaming again!!

I was at Hillsong London today. My first Sunday service in London. Today was a special day as they had a musical instead of a cermon. And they were at the Apollo Theatre instead of the usual venue, Dominion Theatre. I have been to some services at Connect Church in Gothenburg but this was different… Well the service isn’t different, but this is a big church! In Gothenburg yhere were about 100-150 people everu service and I knew some people who attended but today I was absolutely lost! So many people that goes here… I met up Jenna outside and we qued to get in.
The musical was amazing! They had remade some popsongs and adapted the story of Jesus’ life and death and made it into some 70’s story. It all started with the song “who are you, who who, who who”. If you are a series junkie like me you know where it’s from 🙂
Then it just got better. The only thing I was sad about was sometimes the music was louder than the singers…so I didn’t hear what they were singing.

This weekend has been good but the next few weekends will be my trials. This weekend I had the apartment to fix up but most of it is done now. If I choose to be at home a Saturday evening all would be good but when I don’t have that choice, if I have to stay home because I have nothing else to do… That doesn’t sit well with me…I miss having friends close and just be able to pop by or invite people over for boardgames or a movie…

Well, it will get better. It has to. God is with me and gives me hope.

So totally worth it!!

So, I have just slept my first few nights in my new apartment. It is an expensive apartment but I’m so happy I took it! I’m also happy I brought my warm duvet with me!! 🙂 Just need to set up internet, council tax, water bill and electric bill. Have a meeting for the National Insurance Number in a few weeks. Might go up to London next week for work. That’s a new experience…

Yesterday was the official opening of the UK office. It was sunny, good food, good music…Well, as I’m used to the musicians we have in church who all went to uni studying music and their instrument I was probably a bit more critical than I should be.

Technology never seizes to amaze me! I changed the sim in my phone and I can actually use my old Swedish number still for whats-app. Don’t know what happens with my UK number though but not that many people have that number anyway…I’ll probably unlock the workphone so I can use that but in the meantime, you all can catch me on my old whatsapp.

Did a run today…was nice! As I don’t have that many people I can hang out with atm I ahve so much time for everything else, like cleaning, work out, reading etc. But tomorrow I’m going to hillsong London. Me and Jenna are going. Will be good. Just have to buy a train ticket 🙂

Kram!!