Moving to England!

So, I’m moving from Sweden…!!! I have worked at a company, Icomera, since December. This July I applied for another position at the English office and got it. That process took 1 week…. 1 week!! I applied on Friday, had a Skype interview on Wednesday and they offered me the job on Thursday. So, I’m moving!!

So much to be done. A future colleague said it took him 3 months to complete the moving process. I have 6 weeks. If this works, and I have an apartment on October 1st, it’s only with Gods help! So, friends, please pray for me!!

I take comfort in this song (sorry, not the complete song) :

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God, great God

 

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So… I’m back again. In Halmstad, my favorite place in the summer. So much has happened here… My first steps, according to my mom, my first crush on one of the youth camps I have been to…  But this is my one resting place, where I can find peace and enjoy life. The church has a prayer room and I have so many memories from this place. So many fine moments. Today, I shall be thankful. Thankful for what God has done for me.

Last week I attended a christian conference and at one of the youth meetings the preacher said that if he was to make a bracelet it wouldn’t say WWJD (What Would Jesus Do) but WHJD –  What Has Jesus Done. So true! We need to remember what Jesus has done!

Love for people or love for God… Or both?

I have had this question on my heart for a while now.

What if I’m not loving people enough?

I love my friends, they are so precious to me but, I have friends that are not following Christ and I have siblings that don’t follow Jesus. I don’t try to talk them into coming to church… Why don’t I do that?

I think I’m like the other son in the parabel of the prodigal son. Not the one coming home, but the other one who stayed at home. He who gets angry when he sees his father arrange this feast when his brother comes home.

The big thing everyone talks about in this story is what the prodigal son has done. He has declared his own father dead when asking for his inheritance. He has turned his back on his family. But many forget about the brother…the one who stayed and was loyal. While he inherits all that is left, he still can’t rejoice with the father. He can not understand why he has been put aside when the other son comes home. I think I’m like this with my  friends and siblings that are not christians. But this is the Fathers love, to rejoice when what was lost is found, to be glad when a sinner is saved. The brother doesn’t love his homecoming brother like the father, that’s why he can’t rejoice.

I need to realize that God loves in a different way, a better way, and I need to learn how…

Good friday…or is it?

Yesterday was Good Friday. But in Swedish we call it Long Friday. When I was a child, I had to be calm, wasn’t allowed to play or laugh. It was a day of contemplation. I don’t dislike contemplation, it is needed, but as an adult, knowing what really happened this day, I couldn’t help but feel joy. But after yesterday I’m kinda back where i started. To be calm, not playing or laughing. At the Good Friday-service yesterday my pastor preached about what really happened at the cross. It is so much more than what I had realized. Yes, I know Jesus died for all sin of mankind, but I had no idea what it would mean for Jesus himself. God hates sin. He hates it with wrath and that wrath has to go somewhere. I did not know that when Jesus says (Luke 22:42)

“Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me […]”

that it is the reference to the cup of the Lord’s wrath. It says in Jeremiah 25:15

“Thus the Lord, the God of Israel, said to me: Take from my hand this cup of the wine of the wrath, and make all the nations to whom I send you drink it.”

So, Jesus drank that cup of wrath for me, for all of us. He was abandoned by God and cast from heaven. For me. For you. For all of us.

I hear the Savior say,
“Thy strength indeed is small;
Child of weakness, watch and pray,
Find in Me thine all in all.”

Jesus paid it all,
All to Him I owe;
Sin had left a crimson stain,
He washed it white as snow.

Lord, now indeed I find
Thy pow’r, and Thine alone,
Can change the leper’s spots
And melt the heart of stone.

Jesus paid it all,
All to Him I owe;
Sin had left a crimson stain,
He washed it white as snow.

And when before the throne
I stand in Him complete,
I’ll lay my trophies down,
All down at Jesus’ feet.

Oh praise the one
who paid my debt
and raised this life
up from the dead

Noah – the movie

So, I saw Noah last night… A good movie, but beware, not much based on the bible. I can appreciate the dramatical telling of this tale, cause it is a good narrative, BUT, the narrative is not true. This is a fairy tale! If you don’t want spoilers, stop reading now!!

So many things are not from the bible. I had no idea who the watchers were, and the relationship between Noah and his family is not as it is told in the bible. They were godly, righteous people. And, Noah would have loved for others to have come aboard the arch but the people laughed at him and did not believe him. One big thing we, my friends and I, agreed on was good in the movie, is that they portraid sin very well. The people were sinful and put themselves in Gods place. They thought if they were made in His image, they had the right to exploit the earth and all it gave. But we are put here to take care of the earth, not exploit it. Noah and his family were caretakers of the creation, the rest of the world was exploiting it.

When they finally made it on the arch, the movie tells about Noah’s son. He helps a man who is not righteous and is influenced by him and finally wants to kill his own father. As I see it when reading the bible, there was no sin on the arch. It all washed away in the flood and God wanted to start over with Noah and his family; the righteous few. In the movie however, Noah and his family are very flawed in their faith, their following of God. Not that they should be perfect, but they are portraid in a way that seems they do not follow God’s way at all…And the power is put in Noah’s hand, not in God’s. He has to decide if man is worthy enough to have life. God intended from the start that Noah and his family would survive. He was very clear about this, and Noah was grateful and thankful.

So, to conclude…it was a good movie, inspired by the bible but not at all based on it.

Wasting my time…

So, I realize that I still haven’t come to terms with my past. I have forgiven myself for wasting my own time, I’m ok with that. But I’m not ok to have been wasting Gods time! Let me explain.

In 2001 I met a guy and we were a couple for about 5-6 years. He was not a christian and it affected my life, my choices and my faith. When it finally ended, I was nowhere near having a personal relationship with Christ. It has taken me a long time to get to where I am now. And I can tell you it has not been an easy road. My faith has been there, but not the fruit of it. I have always believed there is a God, that Jesus died for my sins and that I have eternal life, but I have not lived it, I have not felt it, I have not been able to fully live my life for God.

About two years ago I think it finally cleared up, I felt the blue sky, I could feel God, I could see God. I think it coincided with me joining my old choir again. This is where I could laugh again for real, feel happiness and joy, the kind that comes from God. I think it’s kind of symbolic, that I spent 6 years on a man that was totally wrong for me and then I had to have 6 hard years to make up for my mistake. I have needed this time to work through all things that came from this relationship, I have needed this time to process some stuff. But now, when I feel God working in me, now that I realize that I might have a calling…now, I am not ok to have been wasting time that I could have been serving!

Now I think “what if…” What if I had taken a wiser decision then, what if I had followed God’s will then? What if…I feel sad, to know what I could have done, where I could have been. I need to forgive myself yet again! Not for wasting my time, but for wasting Gods time. I know that His plan is greater, that He can take whatever mistake I make and use it for good. But I still feel sad and betrayed by myself.

This is where I realize that the question from the Ask It-series is so important! In light of my past experiences, my present situation, my future hopes and dreams…

What is the wise thing for me to do?!